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camouflage is all we've got. |
11.22.2003 |
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ashley told us she was in a car wreck over the summer. after lunch, we were supposed to meet her behind the school to see her scars. janie was with her during that part of the summer. she told us about how terrible it was. i asked ashley if she had broken anything. she thought about it and said that she had, but wouldnt tell me what. i thought that was stupid.
janie was jealous of ashley from that day forward. the day every kid in the eighth grade followed her behind the school. that car wreck is what made ashley. and it never seemed to go away. but i think the envy was there before that. some people have lights with higher wattages. some people just have it. weeks later, i remember seeing janie down by the railroad tracks. i know what she was doing. and i know how she felt.
it was like the time when edward almost got kicked out of school. i think he wanted 'that kind' of attention. but he just got pointed at. he was a disheveled kid who came to class looking like he had just walked out of a dryer. his buttoned shirt was never tucked in and it looked like discarded origami. mrs. wentworth had asked edward if he knew what a comb was, and if he ever thought of using one. the brittanys laughed. edward returned mrs. wentworth's stare and asked her if she ever considered stuffing her bra to come to teach.
edward was suspended for a day, so i took the day off with him. we walked out in the woods behind my house. the sun was hot. but unlike some protected under the shade of the school roof, he wasn't plastic. he told me that he wanted to be a teacher. he wanted to change it for someone else. but he knew that he would never make it. and i didnt know what to say. i think i was supposed to say something to encourage him. but i knew how he felt. so i just followed him as we walked around. quiet.
it was like the time when i kissed laura at her friends house. it was my first real kiss. afterwards, i wanted her to say something. but she didn't. and i felt empty. and then horrible. she looked at me like i was the neighbors dog. and my eyes were wide and breathing. i think i was the kind of kid that couldnt get more than that, and she was the kind of girl that was going to get slapped in the face by the next in line. and it made me sad. she would eventually get caught throwing herself. and i want to think things dont have to be like this.
then there was the time i was praying for an ambulance. or a homecoming parade. or a burning building. or a package of fireworks in my pocket. or even anyone whose star is brighter than mine. cause sometimes it gets dark. and it is hard to be alone. and even with billions of people in the world, somehow i fall into the places that dont have any of them. and sometimes you dont know how to apply long division and the british stamp act to your own dumb life. and you wonder where people learn to deal with this shit. you wonder if everyone just isnt talking about it. or if you just forget to take notes that day. and then you just realized that you missed something. something big. somewhere. |
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| 4:53 am |
the kidnap kid said this. |
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| more frequent updates? |
yes, yes, children. we are back! be sure to sign up at the mailing list below to receive notices on phrensick updates.
we will be updating our list shortly to those of you IDIOTS that checked up on the site while we were on an eight-month hiatus! |
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god, phrensick's always on the cusp of technology. |
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| POLL |
last night, phrensick polled the current 40-man roster of the MILWAUKEE BREWERS to find out their favorite and least favorite posts.
2003 Milwaukee Brewers favorite post:
XANDER'S "Owimoweh, Owimoweh."
2003 Milwaukee Brewers least favorite post:
SUI GENERIS'S "Popcorn Carts."
(poll was taken of the seven players that returned their questionnaires) |
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| response to POLL |
all i have to say to the milwaukee brewers: sarcasm and base hits... who would've guessed the brew crew couldn't get either?
~sui generis |
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