|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
clueless. |
11.14.2003 |
|
|
|
|
nothing fuels my confidence in the american justice system like the game of clue. the whole nature of the game's "random guessing until you find the solution by simple process of elimination" is genuinely inspiring. it's a game that undermines and mocks the integrity of our esteemed criminal investigation professionals.
if you've never played clue, it's a murder-mystery game in which the main characters (suspects) are associated by colorful names. you make uneducated guesses as to who the murderer is until you finally nab the suspect. if you ever do.
my concerns are as follows:
1. parker brothers sets the ages for the game at 8 and up. jesus christ. 8 and up! for a murder mystery game! so, pre-adolescent kids learn straight up that murder is a game. and getting apprehended can be dependent on a bunch of stupid kids making guesses almost as fast as they can spit them out. i was playing this with my eight year old cousin. and his first guess was "[sui generis], was it suicide??" suicide. SUICIDE! eight year olds are so dumb. it says "murder mystery" on the box... that’s the ONE clue we DO get.
2. it lacks the appropriate tools to teach about psychological deviance and criminal investigations. for example, you are not issued a coroner's report, photographs of the body, possible motives, or statements from the suspects which could yield a potential 'opportunity' or an eye-witnessed behavioral account from any one the people present. surely, while suspects of a murder, innocent people won't align themselves in silent solidarity with a killer.
3. the characters are associated with colors, a la reservoir dogs. i have some hunches as to why this was done... but clearly, with merely six suspects, even an eight year old can keep them straight without being identified by colors-- or anything else for that matter. quite frankly, because of this, clue teaches kids that in criminal investigations it is best to separate the suspects by color. they might as well have just added Black Man to the list of suspects.
4. and are there really no clues? come on, parker brothers. ok, let's even throw out the obvious snag in there being a dead man, Mr. Boddy (real clever guys), without an apparent cause of death. it would still be cool to know something about each of the characters, like: ms. scarlet runs an escort service, ms. white has never been to tucson arizona, professor plum is a nihilist, mr. green's favorite pro golfer is davis love III, colonel mustard dodged the draft, or ms. peacock is a lesbian.
case and point? clue needs an update. it needs to catch up with such cultural and technological advancements as: fingerprinting, dna research, tipper gore and that censorship crap, the civil rights movement, and the apparent *brand new* knowledge that in homicides there is ALWAYS a clue... even if that is simply the method by which the victim was killed (i.e. gunshot? drano? butter knife? slapped super hard?). nowadays, if kids eight and up can play this game, they should at least have access to those cool blue thingies that they use on CSI to look for semen stains. |
|
|
|
| 2:14 am |
sui generis said this. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
| more frequent updates? |
yes, yes, children. we are back! be sure to sign up at the mailing list below to receive notices on phrensick updates.
we will be updating our list shortly to those of you IDIOTS that checked up on the site while we were on an eight-month hiatus! |
|
| mailing list! |
sick of visiting phrensick and seein' the same old un-updated site? well, join the mailing list and be alerted to new posts.
go to the contact page... remember to put in your email address... and put "add list" in the body.
god, phrensick's always on the cusp of technology. |
|
| POLL |
last night, phrensick polled the current 40-man roster of the MILWAUKEE BREWERS to find out their favorite and least favorite posts.
2003 Milwaukee Brewers favorite post:
XANDER'S "Owimoweh, Owimoweh."
2003 Milwaukee Brewers least favorite post:
SUI GENERIS'S "Popcorn Carts."
(poll was taken of the seven players that returned their questionnaires) |
|
| response to POLL |
all i have to say to the milwaukee brewers: sarcasm and base hits... who would've guessed the brew crew couldn't get either?
~sui generis |
|
| visit the about page |
to learn more about this site and the writers.
|
|
| visit the contact page |
and let your thoughts be known.
|
|
| and visit the archive page |
if you're really that bored.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
