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| and sui saw that it was good. | 11.07.2003 | |
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 i was in a reading mood the other day, so i sat down with a cold beer and grabbed the bible off my bookshelf. opening it up to the beginning, i figured i'd read for a bit until i got tired. in the back of my mind, however, i was hoping that it wouldn't draw me in too much because it's kind of a big book... and i seldom have the chance to sit down and read. you know how annoying it is to start reading something and never finish. and, sure enough, it stabbed me like i was a bell pepper and it was a shish kabob skewer. but, what better way to launch phrensick, then with a little reflection on god's creation of the world we now live in. if those well intentioned new year's resolutions never even reached opening the book up... god created the earth in seven days. on the first day, god created light. god's my boy for that one. good aggressive first move. he's up and at 'em... in your face... he got his horse out of the gate before it even opened. hey, when you're god--- anyhow, it's a practical move, too. before i create a late-night snack, my first step is turning on the kitchen light. day 1 grade: A "and [then on the second day] god said, 'let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water.'" say what? clearly, day two was not the day god created orators. in english, this is where god creates the horizon line and effectively makes his earth three-dimensional. day 2 grade: B+ i'm only a few paragraphs in, and i'm already wanting pictures. on the third day, god said, "let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." good organizational move by the mighty one here. although this move doesn't sound entirely necessary (especially in... whatever B.C.), i suppose having big oceans and vast deserts was helpful in the later development of ecosystems. astounding foresight. two things to note: (1) in sim city 2000 this move of putting all the water in one place is a copout for novice creators, and (2) what was minnesota doing when god made this 'unite all the waters' command? day 3 grade: B with three days in the books, god created celestial shit on the fourth day: sun, moon, and stars to govern the day and the night and to mark seasons, days, and years. god invents a system of checks and balances. first of all, stars? wouldn't you think that aesthetic things such as stars could be relegated to... like... phase three or four of creation? also, this is where the chronology confuses me. so, on the first day... he just created a working light? and why did he create the sun if it was already light out? i think my opinion of day one is sullied. day 4 grade: A- revised day 1 grade: C- on the fifth day of god-creating-the-earth, the true lord gave to us: five golden rings. naw, actually, god invented fish for his seas and birds for his skies on this day. finishing this by noon, god then went on to have coffee with an old buddy and then spent the rest of the afternoon working on that patchwork quilt he'd been neglecting all week. day 5 grade: B the sixth day brought along two important creations. first, god put animals on the earth. what a tedious process that must have been. just imagine simply drawing all of the animals that exist on the planet. and he probably pulled out the board to his game of risk and positioned each animal on a particular land mass. frustrated with animals, god then invented hunting season. the species of man was created in his likeness... because, i mean, what other 'likenesses' were there? day 6 grade: A+ then, it was sunday, and god was exhausted. so, he proclaimed it his day of rest. on this day he didn't lift a finger... he even skipped church. and after the week he just had, he deserved it. day 7 grade: A overall, god did a good job making the world. after reading the passages several times, it's interesting how vague and disinterested the bible is about this miracle of creation. it seems like god says something like "let there be bacon on non-stick skillets with a side of hash browns" and all the sudden it's just there. bacon on non-stick skillets with a side of hash browns. and, i don't know if i buy that. i'm not sure that would require a day of rest. whoever wrote this passage of the bible skipped over all the interesting stuff. instead, on five of the six working days, the bible repeats the line "and he saw that it was good." which, seems to reveal that god had some insecurities about the work that he was doing... and therefore, needed to affirm the quality of his work with a line that seems like it could be drawn from any self-help book at barnes and noble. in fact, the only time he didn't "[see] that it was good" was on the first day. as if he recognized that his initial plan of using criss-crossed track lighting to illuminate the earth was slipshod at best-- and that he was going to have to waste another day of creation to come up with something better. so maybe god, or at least a majority of the holy trinity, would agree with my evaluations. i mean, i doubt god will get the chance to read phrensick, but man it'd be cool if he did. |
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| 12:06 am | sui generis said this. | |
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